Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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