sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
