thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am puke
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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