went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
