I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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