OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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