wakey wakey hands off snakey
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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