your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
