naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
