I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
my liver is dry heaving
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
