birth control should be required to get into college
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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