Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
