Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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