I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
