her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
