i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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