he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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