his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What a dumb baby whore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
