I wannas sexs uuuuu
Plan B is the new Plan A
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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