My room smells like vodka and shame
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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