you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize