you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
