I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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