Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
