a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
