the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
