I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
