Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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