Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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