so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
