And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm so fucking centered right now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize