Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
