Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
