Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize