im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
