you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
