you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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