His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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