Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
