Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
