The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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