in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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