I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
