if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
