when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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