Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize