So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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