you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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