White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
