His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize