Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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