doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
