and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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