keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
