what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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