So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
