I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
